RanDawg (wasabiabi) wrote,
RanDawg
wasabiabi

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Corn chips are no place for a mighty warrior!!!!

So here is the deal, I am doing this South Beach Diet and I am in pain. It has been 5 days since I had any carbs or sugar. For the people that know me well, you can imagine the unbelievable frustration invloved with me and a total lack of sugar. I mean, it is the source of all my power. I started on the diet on Tuesday 7/18/06 and I did ok the first day. On wednesday and thursday though, it was best to stay away. I was slightly irritable and liable to rip ones head off for no reason. On top of that I had a splitting headache, I felt dizzy for both days and my stomach would not stop hurting like I was sick. Not a good couple of days for me to say the least. I also started craving food like mad. I would have done anything for a stack of pancakes with butter and syrup with some real sausage and bacon (none of that turkey bullshit). The pancakes were a tough craving. Cheeseburger and fries also sounded pretty damn good. Fuck, anything with carbs that was bad for me sounded good. Jessica and I were watching the Food Network on wednesday night and I thought I was going to die, there was this commercial for this Brownie Blast at Sonic and it took every inch of my strength not to jump into the car and drive to sonic. I would have eaten like ten of those fuckers, I shit you not. Friday was a different day though. The endless headache and stomachache went away and I suddenly had a ton of energy. This was also helped by the fact that is was Friday and it was a very busy week at work, but even still. I was all jumpy and alert and I hadn't had sugar of caffine in days. It was on friday that I realized I can make it through phase 1, one of the hardest things I have ever attempted in terms of will power. I am on day 6 of 14 now and damn do I feel good. I sure feel an increase in energy and my cravings have gone down. This may have actually been a good decision for me. There were a couple of factors going into my decision to start the South Beach Diet and force myself to do something that I never thought was possible and that I never EVER wanted to do, cut out my drug of choice, sugar.

Factor 1
A couple of months ago Jessica went to the doctor because there is a certain event that usually happens on a monthly basis that hadn't happened in about 5 months. She had taken several home pregnancy tests and all came up negative so we were concerned as to exactly was causing her to not throw down with her monthly ritual. The doctor ended up sending her to an OB/GYN to check out her lady parts. That doctor ended up finding out that Jessica has a disorder called polycystic ovarian syndrome, otherwise know at PCOS. This is a genetic pre-diabetic condition that causes the body crave carbohydrates and horde insolin. This was actually good news for us since it was an answer to several questions Jessica has had for the last year or so. See, Jessica gained about 90 pounds since we started dating. She wasn't eating or exercising any different than she was before we started dating but she was gaining all this weight. That was making her depressed. She would wake up in the morning and not be able to go out into the world because she was so down about her weight. As it turns out, PCOS was the reason for the rapid weight gain and even the depression. Three birds with one stone, incredible. So the doctor tells Jessica that this is a beatable condition but the only way to get the better of it is to severely change your diet so you are taking in less carbs and forcing your body not to produce as much insolin. According to the doctor the best diet to do this is the South Beach Diet. Jessica went on it alone at first. She did well, lost 10 pounds over the first 2 weeks. Then she fell off the wagon. Happens to all of us, but she was unable to jump back on. She asked me to go on the diet with her and I wad very unsure, I really didn't think I would be able to do it...

Factor 2
Needless to say this has not been a very good year for us. Both of us lost our grandmothers in the same week, living paycheck to paycheck has been very difficult and Jessica has a disorder that can easily turn into diabetes. So here I am. I started a new job late last year and I am doing well at it. But I am still the lazy fucker I was 3 years ago only there is no library, no weed and I have gained about 60 pounds since Jessica and I started dating. I was about 235 3 years ago when my world went into a spin cycle. There were ladies everywhere and they all wanted me, I wasn't drinking soda and I was exercising on a regular basis. I was on the top of my game. Only one more year of college before graduation. It was only a matter of time until I was out of the thing everyone wants to be done with when they start, School. I started dating Jessica and I didn't think it could get any better. The only problem is the cold hand of reality always seems to show up at the most inopportune moments. SLAP! Reality check for RanDawg: The "Real World" sucks ass. Working full time is a horrible way to spend your time. No month off at christmas???? No 2 and a half months during the summer???? Shit, I thought college was supposed to prepare me for this. College only taught me how to do as little as possible and still pull through. There was always 2 options in college: Show up for class and don't do the work or don't go to class and do all the work. Turns out in the real world you have to do both all the time. On top of completely hating my first full time job, buying a house and all the sudden having no money where money used to be, I had a slight emotional downfall. The wedding was a beam of light. But it didn't make everything better for me. I slipped into a slight depression and started eating like it was going out of style. I would have weeks were every meal I ate was from a fast food joint. Fucking Jack in the Box 3 times a day. I hated my job. My life was not supposed to end up the way it did. Getting the new job helped alot. The fast food consumption had gone down a little bit but most of my dinners were still purchased at a drive thru window. Jessica was also in a similar state only she had a disorder that really pushed her into eating bad. I had tried starting the workout again but I just couldn't make it a habit. I had tried 4 times to stop drinking soda again and went as long as a month before giving in. It was so easy for me the first time and I just didn't understand how it could be so hard a second time. I even tried starting the South Beach Diet about 4 weeks ago but gave it up after 2 meals. I have had the grim realization before over the last few months but it really shined through last week. I weigh 295 pounds. Five fucking pounds away from 300. I am only 25 years old and most physical activity wears me out. With Jessica wanting me to dive in with her I decided to take the plunge for good this time. South Beach for me until I can reach my goal.

That is pretty much my year in review. I'm trying to turn it around and find out exactly what I want to get out of my life. It was really easy to skate by without having any responsibility but evening can change in a hurry and if you keep going like you were you end up having to dig your ass out of a big fucking hole. I feel like I am up for the challenge this time.

I also recently got High Definition cable service and all I can say is "Holy Fuck". For my 73" TV to get a picture that clear amazes me. We have been watching alot of nature shows on the Discovery Channel HD Theatre and on PBS. I never thought HD would make that much of a difference, but I was totally wrong. It is totally worth the extra money every month. On that know, I am out. Must make myself a delicious salad for lunch.
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